I went through many weeks of not feeling like my usual self. I was experiencing an emotional rollercoaster. One day I would feel great, be at an all-time high and then for a number of days I would feel like the world is falling on me.
There were days I didn’t want to leave my bed, I didn’t want to work (and I love working), I didn’t want to do anything!
My emotions were vicious cycles of being sad, extremely happy and slightly angry. I usually kept all of my emotions inside and didn’t tell anyone how I truly felt. This led me to a very unfortunate time. One night I lashed out, I couldn’t control what I was doing and I put myself and others in a very bad situation. I felt absolutely terrible afterwards. This night I was told by people very close to me that I should go see someone, a therapist.
I didn’t want to go see a therapist, I used to think therapy was for crazy people and those who couldn’t control themselves (this was my ego getting in the way “I don’t need help”). After a couple days I was in contact with a health professional and made an appointment.
Well, there I was, lying down with my arms crossed on a very uncomfortable couch in a fairly large room that looked like part office and part living room. I thought if I am here I may as well get comfortable and make the best of it.
I was expecting to get bombarded with questions and get discouraged because this person across from me thinks I am crazy and unstable. This was not the case at all, they were very welcoming, extremely easy to talk to and somewhat funny.
I started by telling this person how it seems ridiculous to spend this much money to talk to someone when I can just go pay a homeless person a few bucks and they would be more than happy to listen. I then opened up and literally told this person my life story and more. It actually felt very good and I felt like I got a lot of weight off my shoulders and cleared some of my mind.
Instead of them asking questions I was the one asking questions. I may have asked some questions that were a little out of this world and beyond their expertise to be able to answer. The therapist did their best to answer the majority of my questions and they seemed to me a little intimidated and lost for words at times. They told me they have to talk to other therapists and people with higher knowledge in order to get some answers for me. Afterwards I received most of the remaining answers but some I will have to find out on my own as I experience life.
I am very glad that I went to see a therapist, it is one of the best things I have done when it comes to helping myself mentally. I discovered some new things about myself and actually feel quite a bit better due to getting so much out of my system.
If you are someone who is going through a tough time right now and feel like the world is out to get you and your emotions are taking over your daily life, the best thing you can do is go see someone and talk to them about how you feel. Leave your ego and pride behind. You must go in with an open mind and willing to help yourself.
Whatever you are going through right now, you really are not alone, no one is out to get you, the world does not hate you and everything will be fine.