We don’t know what exactly causes depression, but we do know there are many factors that can contribute to the development to the way we feel. People who have never suffered from depression or anxiety say things like “it’s all in your head, just snap out of it think happy thoughts” but it is not that simple. Depression is just not the occasional feelings of sadness that we all experience from time to time. Depression is the inability to be able to take pleasure in things we would normally love doing, takes away all of our energy and gives us feelings of worthlessness. One of the best ways to explain how depression feels for some-is a persistent feeling of overwhelming sadness for 2 weeks and usually much longer for some. Depression can change your sleeping and eating habits as well as your mood.
Later on I am going to tell you 3 ways I overcame my depression and how I am feeling now.
I had suicidal thoughts, loneliness, extreme sadness and every extreme emotion you can think of. I didn’t want to get out of bed most days, I didn’t care to or want to see anyone, didn’t care what I ate if I even felt like eating at all and the last thing I ever wanted to do was go to the gym.
During this time I had a trip booked to Nicaragua and was beyond worried about travelling due to how I was feeling and it was my first time leaving Canada. After spending a week in Nicaragua I started to feel pretty good. This could have been because all my “responsibilities” were in another country and forgotten about, but at the time I was okay with that! After 3 weeks it was time to come home, I was still feeling pretty damn good. I was sad to leave, excited to come home, but also nervous due to everything that had happened in the previous months. I made myself a promise that when I get back home I will start going back to the gym on a regular basis, socializing more (I hated talking to people) and eating better. They say “travelling is good for the soul” I now completely understand this saying and I am looking forward to my next trip wherever this may be.
The first week of being back home I was quite tired due to 3 weeks in the extreme heat and trying to cram in as much in as possible. Other than being tired I felt pretty damn good both physically and mentally. I made the jump to get back into being healthy and signed up the gym. I know, some people who know me are probably thinking, “shouldn’t you always be healthy, you are a personal trainer”. Well, that is true, but we are all human! To be quite honest I hate big box gyms, but couldn’t go wrong for only $10/month and no enrollment fee. In April I started exercising again on a regular basis and feel pretty good.
One last thing before I get into why you guys cared to open this blog. When I got back into Canada I realized how much we have and how much we take for granted. Sure, some places in Nicaragua had both hot and cold water, but it was very rare. Most places only had one tap and it was just freezing cold water. They also didn’t have the luxury to be able to turn on a tap and have clean drinking water. They most definitely did not have the resources like we do to be able to run an online business. And last but not least they had very young children doing jobs for next to no money. While we have kids here who complain about their parents buying them the wrong pair of Yeezys.
1) Changing the scenery (travel)
I have heard over and over again how great travelling is for our mind and for what we can take away from it. To all you people who told me this, I would like to let you know, you were right! Travelling did change how I see the world and how I do a few things differently in my own day to day life. Leaving to another country was very refreshing, very eye opening and made me feel even more grateful. If you want to clear your mind and get a new outlook on life I suggest you start saving your money and take a trip somewhere. Go somewhere that is less fortunate, somewhere that will really make you think. Don’t just sit on the beach somewhere and drink your sorrows away like you can right now. I recommend going to see how the locals live and travel around a few different cities. Travelling is not cheap, so like I said, save your money and do it! Pay for experience, don’t pay for things. Things don’t last, experiences do!
2) Exercising (getting back to doing what I love)
This may seem like a no brainer for some, but when your mind is taking over all parts of your body and life, it is hard to do anything. I worked out for many years and always felt great. In all honesty I started to lose love for working out before I was hit with depression, but that was due to my life situation and the opinions of others that were around me. Working out (exercising) was something I loved to do more than anything else and taking this out of my life was hard in many cases but also taught me a lot about myself. I am very glad to be back at it and I will help as many people as I can through exercise.
Exercise increases endorphins which can be like a natural feel good high. Exercises doesn’t have to be going to the gym, running on the treadmill or lifting weights. You can start out by taking short fast paced walks, riding your bike or even looking up some simple bodyweight exercises to do at home. Trust me, you will feel better. You may be a little discouraged at first, but you have to continue to push through and do your best!
3) Working (once again, doing what I love)
I fucking love working. Years ago I hated it, I thought it was silly. Why the heck would I want to do some lame job, where this stranger is telling me what to do and how to do it. Sure the paychecks at the time were decent, but I thought of so much more I could have been doing!
Years later I fell in love with working, not just any kind of job, but working in the fitness industry, working for myself and working on something that is going to help others.
Working was something else that I had lost love for, I didn’t want to do any kind of work. Working meant I had to be around people, it was damn hard at the time. Depression can do a lot to a person, more than people think or even realize.
Here are some main points you should take away from this if you didn’t get anything at all. Be grateful, be grateful for what you have and who you have around you. Find something that you love doing and stick with it! It may take a while to get where you want, but you will get there if you keep pushing! If you already have something you really love doing, that’s fucking awesome!! You pretty well have it made.
Start exploring different parts of the world as soon as you can.
Whatever you are going through, it will eventually pass over. Just stay strong!
I am not going to say I am totally fine and dandy or that every day is just sunshine and lollipops, because that is not true. I still freeze up in front of some people, I still get upset, nervous, and think that I suck. But hey, we are all human, we all fuck up and we are all on the same planet. Let’s all just do our best at what we are doing and try to get along fuck!